Finally clearing out the garage. Most of it went fine. The shelves, the boxes, the table with the leg, all gone. But the couch is still in there and it's become a situation.
It's not heavy. I want to be clear about that. I've moved heavier furniture by myself. This couch is maybe 60 pounds, standard three-seat, brown microfiber, bought it in '18. The issue is it doesn't want to go.
I'm not saying it's alive. I'm saying I grabbed one end last week and it was like trying to pull a magnet off a fridge the size of the earth. Feet are planted. Not stuck. I checked. No nails, no bolts, no adhesive. The floor underneath is clean. It just... won't.
My neighbor tried. He's a big guy. Grabbed the armrest, pulled, and the couch didn't move but his shoes slid across the concrete like he was on ice. He said "I think this couch has made a decision" and went home.
I need people who are comfortable with the concept of leverage in a non-standard context. I have a dolly, I have straps, and I have a theory involving rotating it 15 degrees counterclockwise that I haven't tried yet. Come ready to problem-solve.
80 split between however many of you show up. I'll throw in whatever else from the garage you want. Except the couch. Obviously.