Need someone to stay in my apartment from June 18 through June 29. Eleven days. Not ten. Not twelve. These dates are not flexible and I will not be entertaining questions about why.
It's a nice place. One-bedroom in Glumwick, street parking, the building has a good energy to it and by the 18th everything should be back to normal. I'm going to be somewhere else during this period. Where is not relevant. The point is someone needs to be physically present in the apartment overnight. Every night. All eleven nights.
Water the plants. Don't rearrange the salt lines along the windowsills. They look decorative but they are not decorative. Don't open the cabinet above the fridge; it opens fine, it's just not a cabinet you need to be in. Feed the fish. The fish is in the bedroom. You will recognize the fish because it is the only thing in the bedroom that is a fish.
0 rent. I will pay YOU 200 for the eleven days. This is a straightforward deal that does not require further investigation. Serious inquiries only.